Tough Family Healthcare Conversations? Take Some Lessons from Your Favorite TV Shows.
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I never thought I'd advocate for more TV time, but when it comes to difficult or sensitive family conversations, TV might be helpful. Hear me out.
As I continue my book roadshow and listening tour (thank you to everyone who’s purchased a book thus far!), one of the comments I regularly receive is some variation of the following:
"Ugh… my family and I don’t like to talk about that stuff."
"That stuff" being sensitive topics like aging parents, senior driving (or not driving), family finances, wills, advance directives for healthcare, chronic health conditions, and even alternative housing options such as assisted living facilities and retirement communities.
Other variations of this sentiment include:
"I mostly see family around the holidays, and when we're together, it's a happy time. I don't want to bring up a potentially negative or difficult topic."
"In my family, we avoid conflict, and we definitely don't discuss anything that hints at aging or the death of a loved one."
"We're a young family. Everyone is healthy. I don't want to deal with any of this until later."
I get it. Trust me. I'm a comms professional who loves to talk, and even I know that family conversations about sensitive topics like health and aging can be fraught. Also, every family and family dynamic is different, so what works for one person may not work for another. This is where some TV time can help. In some instances, the best way to initiate a potentially sensitive family conversation is to take the focus off you and your family and put it on someone else. In this case, fictitious characters in TV sitcoms. Yes! I said it: Start with a TV Show!
Really Karesha? More TV Time?
In Chapter 3 of The Family Healthcare Playbook, "Family Healthcare Conversations: How to Start and What to Talk About," I highlight specific episodes from TV shows like Abbott Elementary, The Bernie Mac Show, Grace and Frankie, and Kim's Convenience that can do some of the heavy lifting for you. These episodes are wonderful: short, heartwarming, and often filled with laughter, despite the somewhat difficult subject matter. They address a wide range of topics, from complicated parent-child relationships, elder scams, and unexpected trips to the hospital emergency room, to falls, loneliness, and balancing high-pressure jobs while also caregiving. If you’ve been avoiding conversations with your family about difficult topics, these sitcoms can serve as a potential entry point. Again, take the focus off you and your family for a minute and watch others (albeit actors) have these conversations, and see what you learn.
OK, Which TV Episodes?
For those of you already deep into The Family Healthcare Playbook, the list of some of my favorite caregiving-related TV episodes starts on page 65. If TV's not your jam, I've included various articles, books, and podcasts as well. There's also a Caregiving documentary I wrote about earlier that is really, really good. It's longer, more in-depth, and the stories involve real people (not actors), but I found it another great way to stimulate conversations about caregiving. This isn't an exhaustive list, so if you’ve found other TV episodes, podcasts, articles, books, or documentaries that have been helpful to you, please share, and I’ll add them!
P.S. Because I'm sure someone reading this is thinking, "I don't need TV or a podcast. I can just draft a quick script for my tough family conversations using AI." Sure, absolutely. Go for it. In fact, that's an option I also discuss in my book. AND then, when it comes time to actually have those conversations, remember you are a loved one talking to another loved one. You can't always "tech" your way through this. Especially with family. Sometimes you have to be vulnerable, open, and maybe even a little less polished. It might be messy, but you simply have to talk it out.
The Family Healthcare Playbook: An Action Plan for the Accidental Caregiver is available now on thefamilyhealthcareplaybook.com. And as always, if I can be a resource for you or your family on the caregiving front, please don't hesitate to reach out.